To say that the average country music fan is passionate about the genre is like saying a fish merely enjoys the water.
I can say this with full authority now, because this past summer I have absorbed a lifetime's worth of country music working as an usher at the fantastic Meadowbrook Pavilion concert venue in Gilford, NH. I now qualify for a PH.D. in the subject.
It is not a style of music that I heretofore had any contact with. (Mostly for sanity and okay, snobbery purposes) But having it thrust upon me continually this summer has given me pause, and somewhere between Montgomery Gentry's funny ode to dysfunctional families, Long Line of Losers and Reba McIntire's song for the single gal, I'll Have What She's Having, I realized that there is much to like playing on your local country music radio station.
I offer the following analysis, full of county music's pros and cons. (A fancy pants Latin phrase meaning "the good stuff and the bad stuff")
The pros:
1. Great melodies: If you are not singing along to a country song on the radio (even subconsciously) within one minute of hearing it you are probably either legally deaf or dead. It's not easy to write a catchy melody and many other kinds of music pride themselves on being as weird and "artistic" as they can be, which, frankly, translates into unlistenable music. There is no sing along like a country music concert sing along. I think the Irishman in me likes the idea of rousing song sung in broken voices by a crowd of simple folks.
2. Funny Song Titles: Hands down country music has the wittiest song titles. I can't decide what my favorite one is. So far it's a close race between She Got the Ring and I got the Finger, Being so Blue is Turning me Gray, My Wife Ran off With My Best Friend (I sure do miss him) and the immortal Get Your Biscuits in the Oven and Your Buns in the Bed. I'm thinking of writing my own song titled We Don't Text in Texas (Or LOL in Louisiana). That song title, by the way, is open for any aspiring song writer to use. I ask only for you to name your first born son Tincan and acknowledge me thoroughly before each and every playing of said song.
3. Recognition of the working man: There is no man or woman, no matter how successful or wealthy they may be, who has not at some point in their life worked a dead end job. To these folks country music has been a historic source of comfort and solace. Who can argue with a tune that gives a little hope? The simple joys in life are worth counting, and in this rat race we are in, this piece of advice is sorely needed.
I'm sorry country music fans, but your beloved music form has some decided cons.
1. The simple things: For every country song that celebrates the little things in life (a roof over you head, a good woman at your side etc.) and the working man, I wish there was a song about a working stiff who suddenly realizes that he loves numbers, so decides to get off his duff and go to night school and make something of his life. (In my song he becomes a successful accountant and helps save the family farm of his best friend)Celebrating the simple things too much can make a little ambition in life seem futile. (Put down that beer man, turn off the radio and never stop trying to improve yourself)
2. Twang: Is there a chance for a country band or artist from Wisconsin? Or California? Or New Hampshire? Do you have to have a surreal southern drawl to make it in country music? Here is a fun game. Take any pop song you know and sing it with an exaggerated twang. (Try Brown Eyed Girl for starters) Voila', a country song!
3. The cowboy hats: You should only be allowed to wear a cowboy hat if you actually work with livestock. A majority of country artists are now from urban environments, and have never seen a cow or ridden a horse in their lives. I used to like to pretend to be a cowboy; we all did at one point. The hats are silly. (Okay, I'm being too harsh here. I love silly hats as much as the next guy, maybe more)
4. It's not five o' clock somewhere: Here is the actual song lyric, a reference to cutting off work at lunchtime and heading to the bar: "It's only half past noon, but I don't care, it's five o' clock somewhere."
No it's not. It's five thirty somewhere. Time zones only work by the hour, so it's an hour difference. (And by the way, the place that it's now five thirty in is the Muslim country of Algeria in Africa, where it is, ironically, very difficult to find alcohol)
If the song said "its only noon here, but I don't care, it's five o' clock somewhere", then I would smile at the clever word play. But I cannot stand idly by while such dumb lyric gets quoted endlessly by those who would start the weekend early.
Well there they are. I'm thinking of putting this whole thing to music to make it go down easier.I think I'll call it My Gal took off with my laptop and all I got was this lousy blog.
I think it will be a hit.
