There is some great confusion, I believe, between the term "edible" and the word "food".Allow me to illuminate your understanding.
There are many things in this world that can be classified as "edible" (fit to be eaten, especially by humans) but that no self respecting human being could bring themselves to call "food".
In fact, that above definition from Webster's Dictionary is particularly troubling because of the "especially by humans" clause tacked onto the end. This sounds a bit like a definition that would appeal to Martians.
The book Edible Wild Plants: A North American Field Guide ($24.99 at Amazon.com or slightly more at that hippy bookstore downtown) lists thousands of plants that you can consume to keep yourself alive, but that you would, not in a million years, put in a salad when your boss comes over for dinner.
Skunkweed may be "edible", but it is most defiantly not "food".
I have my own list.
1. Scones: The English have given us many great things: The Magna Carta, Canada, Charles Dickens, Shakespeare, The Beatles and English Toast.Having said that, scones, those British, brick-like, round objects (sometimes with blueberries or chocolate chips) in the window of your local bakery or trendy coffee shop, are a to me a great mystery. They continue to get made, day after day, yet no one I have ever met has actually eaten one.
Here is the actual recipe for scones: Go out in your yard, collect some rocks and bake them.
Then add butter.
Scones, according to British sailor lore, were created to both feed seamen and keep them afloat should their ship sink. (And if they are especially well made they could save the entire crew by draining every last drop of moisture from the ocean and allowing the crew to walk back home on dry land)
2. Brussel Sprouts: These little green balls of fun are to the cafeteria line what scones are to the bakery. They are incredibly compact and they stack well. My wife says that we eat brussel sprouts because somewhere, thousands of years ago, someone lost a bet, and the winner of that bet said to the loser, "hey you see that shrub over there...
"And then the loser of the bet, having just eaten the first brussel sprout in history, said "hmm, needs butter".
3. Spam: Much has been said and written about this curious product in a tin container, but here is a little known fact you might not know: Spam is actually the belly button lint of the pig.
And in a scone related note, Spam has a intertwined history with the British Navy. These poor sailors, scones for breakfast, Spam for lunch and dinner.
I hope they had butter.
4. The new KFC "Doubledown": This "sandwich" from Colonel Sander's Fried Chicken chain is quite possibly the end of Western Civilization. It consists of two fried chicken patties with cheese and bacon between them, and when exposed to the light can give every mammal within a ten mile radius a heart attack.
Somewhere there is a refined southern gentleman in a seersucker suit turning over in his grave.
So eat well my friends, and make good choices about what you put on your plate.
